"Train" by Bill Wolff

www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~wolff/portfolio/six.html

Tracks

i ride these tracks
inching towards my soulmate friend
inching towards rest and relaxation
inching away from responsibility and work
from the alarm
from restrictions
early bedtimes

reflecting
resting

realizing

i am inching away from moments
never to see again
and inching towards what lies ahead

what lies ahead is unknown
but i choose

i decide
every second of every minute
of every hour of every day

no one but me
can choose
which direction these tracks of my life will go

Oh Master Conductor
give me wisdom
to choose what is best
to make choices with each breath
that are good and healthy and wise
choices i will not regret

TLS

"Reflection" by Chrystel Sarrazin

"Reflection" by Chrystel Sarrazin
http://chrystelgallery.every-web.com/

The Pause

the pause

not forever
not for always
but for now
for a breath
for a season

bracing myself
wanting to release
wanting to fly
knowing it is not time

aching
longing to belong
longing to rest
knowing i must wait

for the right time
to trust
the right time to give
the right time to accept
to lavish

excitement building
anticipation
of all that can be
of dreams becoming realized

trusting in the Source
to speak quietly
to reassure
to make known
the time
to let go
to fully embrace
to adore and to cherish
to be adored and cherished

waiting
expecting
believing
longing
aching
trusting

for the time to love
the time
to be loved
unlike any other

breathing in deeply
eyes closed
waiting and trusting

learning to enjoy
the pause

TLS

Be The Girl

Artist: Aslyn
Song: Be The Girl

Lyrics:

you look at me
curious what i'm made of
sugar or steam
and what kind of man i love
what i believe
what i know and what i crave
all my pet peeves
where i've shed and when i stain
do you know

cuz i'm not here to be around
and be that girl that you forget about
cuz all i want is just to be a song
that you can feel longer than just right now
so come on baby let me be the girl
that you can count on to rock your world
and then you'll see there's so much than curves
and then you'll see that you and me belong

do you know my vice
and how to get under my skin
just what i like
and where i want you to begin
do you know my middle name
and where i'm sensitive the most
that each night i pray
and do you think i fit that mold
do you know

cuz i'm not here to be around
and be that girl that you forget about
cuz all i want is just to be a song
that you can feel longer than just right now
so come on baby let me be the girl
that you can count on to rock your world
and then you'll see there's so much than curves
and then you'll see that you and me belong

you and me belong
you and me belong

cuz i'm not here to be around
and be that girl that you forget about
cuz all i want is just to be a song
that you can feel longer than just right now
so come on baby let me be the girl
that you can count on to rock your world
and then you'll see there's so much than curves
and then you'll see that you and me belong
you and me belong
you and me belong

FANTASY

http://www.maps2anywhere.com/Graphics/Puerto_Rico_-_Beach.jpg

My gem

thank you

for making me smile again
for helping me to believe again

for laughter and smiles and talks
and talks
and talks
and talks
and talks

for trusting me
for relaxing

for your purity of heart
for your kindness and your goodness
for your friendship

for the possibilities

for the calls and the reminders
telling me that I am on your mind
and proving it

for sharing yourself
your experiences
your mistakes
the lessons

how I learn
and rest
in knowing that I am not alone

thank you

i rejoice
in who you are

and in the possibilities
of so much more

i wait
still guarded
still praying

trusting

in one greater than me or you
to reveal
and to release

to ignite
to set free

waiting

yet knowing

that I have found a treasure
in your friendship

i rejoice
and i am thankful

for you

my gem ;)

LONGING

LONGING
http://www.chelseacarbonell.com/Longing.htm

Home

waiting
the monotony
the waiting
to come to life
to ignite
to become something new and fresh
something unlike anything else

believing that the impossible can happen
that cynicism is not for me after all
that the passion can indeed spring to life
that my wanting and waiting has not been in vain

no more sub zero
no more complacency or tolerance
no more settling
expecting the best and wanting the best
and believing that the best is possible
for me

tired of the journey
and longing to find my place of rest
my safe haven
a place of belonging
in this life

for a breath
for a season
for now
until we breathe our last
a place of comfort

ready for home
where are you?
do I know you?

I rest tonight
knowing you are there
knowing that the rest will end
and I will be home
with you

TLS

"Among 20 Friends" Tracy Douglass

www.tracydouglassart.com/ user/Among%20Friends.jpg

Friends

I am so grateful
for new beginnings
and new friends

God's grace
and the prayers of friends
that get me by when I cannot do it myself

Friends that see in you what you don't
And have the courage to tell you

Friends that hold up your arms
for the journey
when yours are weak

Friends that will cry
with you when you need to cry

Friends that listen
and encourage
remind you that you are brave
and how far you have come
when you are blinded by the journey

thank you
from my oldest friend of 23 years
to my newest friend of not even a week

I am grateful
I thank God for you
and know I could never make it through the journey
without you

Grateful

Things I'm grateful for: (in no particular order, other than how they come to my mind at 12:44 a.m. ) :)

1. Freedom to express myself
2. My family
3. My new precious niece
4. My soul mate best friends
5. My friends standing by me
6. Books
7. Music
8. Internet
9. My car
10. My job
11. God's grace
12. God's forgiveness
13. God's patience
14. second chances
15. third chances
16. fourth chances :)
17. 80s music
    
18. my musical abilities
19. my education
20. my room
21. my Tivo
22. my purple microbead pillow, my white noise maker, my eye mask, my ceiling fan - all that make for the perfect sleep
23. America
24. my puppy!
25. my having completed a half-marathon
26. cross-stitch
27. movies
28. chocolate
29. Cold coke on ice
30. pizza
31. MEXICAN food
32. intimate conversations
33. candlelight
34. kisses
35. hugs
36. driving
37. my cell phone
38. my blog :)
39. weekends
40. sleeping late
41. email
42. my computer
43. photos
44. vacations
45. laughter
46. the ability to learn
47. new friends
48. hope
49. dreams
50. flowers
51. perfume
52. fun jewelry
53. colors! (you know, God could have made the world black and white and we'd never have known the difference)
54. creation
55. travel
56. Harold - helping me step outside of my box
57. bath products
58. long hot showers
59. bubble baths
60. Italian food
61. the courage and strength to get out of a horrible marriage
62. music's ability to inspire me
63. new experiences
64. weekends
65. sleeping in
66. having nothing to do!
67. the rush and satisfaction that comes after working out
68. someone that shares your passion
69. someone that "gets" you!
70. growth
71. cute shoes :)
72. new clothes
73. feeling good about myself
74. my new chi
75. writing
76. smiles
77. gracious people
78. comfie terry cloth bathrobe
79. memories
80. music's ability to take you to another place and time
81. those that protect me
82. Friendships that last and last and last
83. friends that you can act silly with
84. someone that you can hug so tight it hurts
85. intimacy
86. shopping
87. shopping with money to spend!
88. coffee
89. sugar!!!!
90. being able to eat a yummy dessert without feeling guilty
91. being a girl
92. the potential of a family that I dream of
93. introspection
94. safety
95. rest
96. free time
97. being able to make money and provide for myself
98. those that I can turn to for help, counsel, guidance and assistance - those that know what I don't!
99. my health ( that made #99????)
100. bedtime (which would be now) :)

My my, we are blessed, aren't we??

BUTTAH!

Mike Myers doing Linda Richman is like BUTTAH! http://www.eonline.com/On/Snl/PhotoGallery/index5.html

TOO INTENSE!

Ok, dear friends and neighbors. I've decided that my blog is WAY too intense... I need to lighten things up a bit. Any ideas? Any feedback? Pick a topic... (ah, I reminisce to the good ole Saturday Night Live days of Linda Richmond... "I'm a little verklempt! Talk amongst yourselves..I'll give you a topic: Rhode Island, it's not a road, nor an island...discuss!")

Any ideas, feedback, topics would be greatly appreciated... I need some fluff on this blog!!!

For my niece

Thank you sweet girl
You don't know what you did for me, but it was rather huge
I had a hurt in my heart
And I saw you
You looked up and me
And smiled
And my heart melted
My hurt left

You are a miracle
And you do wonders for my soul
My face lights up at the sight of you

Such innocence
Such delight
Such purity
In one tiny person

You don't know what you did
But I thank you
I thank God for bringing you to us
Our miracle child

I didn't know I could love someone so much
That I barely even know

Thanks for smiling at me
And making me laugh
Making me forget
And reminding me to be grateful

Thank you God, for this baby girl
For the miracle that she is
And for the delight that she is

TLS

WOW...this is pretty dead on...

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now). You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children. Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life. Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

What's Your Personality Type?

Process

Amazing how this all is a process. This morning I'm spewing hatred from my lips. This afternoon I'm making of list of things I can do for myself and for those around me. Things to occupy my mind and my time. Things to do to be productive and healthy and good to others around me.

You know, I blame Paul for this, but I was partly to blame. I settled. I know I did. He did not give me the time that I deserved. I spent weekends alone (looking back now, it was because he was with her). I spent nights alone. I spent evenings dressed and ready to go, doing nothing, as he was standing me up. I should have not tolerated it. After the very first night, I should have said no more will I be treated this way. But how do you know where to draw the line? Where is the line between self respect of myself and being patient towards others? Obviously, there was a point where I saw a pattern forming. And THAT should have been the point where I drew the line and said, "sorry assed man, you are GONE"....

I am also to blame because I gave my heart away too quickly. I should not allow someone to affect me this way until I KNOW they are trustworthy. Until I KNOW they are dependable and reliable and a person of TRUE ethics, morals and character. I must guard my heart with a vengence, protecting it because it is valuable... No one can protect it but me. No one can give it away but me. So, in a sense, I gave Paul permission to break my heart. I cannot do this again.

I am also to blame because I let many things go. This list I'm compiling today of things to do, things I NEED to be doing - these are things I should have been doing all along. I've got to make myself, my life, a priority. Doing what needs to be done. Taking care of my body, my mind, my spirit, the space around me, doing things for others.

These times of pain are absolutely no fun... But they seem to be the only time I do some serious soul searching; the times I get off my tail and am productive...

God,

Heal my broken heart and help me to cherish it. Help me to not give it away again until it is time. Help me to entrust myself to you and to take care of myself. You have entrusted this life to me, and I don't want to blow it. Help me to make a difference. Help me to be what you want me to be.

As much as I don't want to, I pray for Paul. I know he has some big issues and obviously some deep needs. Help me to forgive him and not to hate him. Do a work in his life and draw him to you.

Draw ME to you... Help me sort through all this mess of life and to find you among the rubble. Help me to trust you amidst the untrustworthy people of this world. Help me to see that you are not like them. Help me to seek YOU and not people.

Heal this mess that I am and make me like you...

Hatred

i've been taught that hatred is wrong
i have never had hate in my heart
until now

you have crushed me with your lies
i handed you my heart on a silver platter
and you abandoned it
neglected it
and trampled on it under your feet

your talk of honor and ethics
that won me
were all lies

you hurt me time and time again
with no regret
with no remorse

i believed in you
i encouraged you
i waited for you
time and time again

you blasted fool

trading diamonds for swine
caviar for porriage

one day i will thank you
one day i will embrace my prince
and wonder how i could even glance your way

one day i will gaze into the eyes of my children
and be grateful they are not yours

but today
for today
i hate you

TLS

I HATE HIM

http://www.bewild.com/ihatehimtshirt.html

Nurturing ourselves

It seems like it takes a heartbreak to remind me to nurture myself. To be strong in my mind, body and spirit. I am forced to look inward. To spend time licking my wounds, but then to gird up my loins and say to myself, "Look babe, it's time to move on. He's not worth it, but you are. The world needs you. Become strong and become brave."

I want to be brave and strong. Ready to face the world and anything with testicles! I am a beautiful, passionate, intelligent woman, full of love, with a story to share, desiring to lavish someone with love and compassion. I am giving. I am funny. I am smart. I am a survivor and I will survive this. I AM surviving this. I will not allow a man who is not worth me to bring me down and to cause me to be less than what I am.

I will be kind to myself (thank you, sweet Sandra). I will give myself the grace that I give unto others. I will take care of myself as I would take care of my mate; of my offspring. I will nurture myself, I will be kind and gentle, I will be patient, I will give myself what I need, I will listen to myself, I will trust myself and my intuition. I will take time out to be quiet, to learn, to draw nearer to those things that are pure and strong.

Some things to remind me - some ideas for you - May we all cherish ourselves for the beauties that we are, created in His image.

Suggestions for ways to nurture yourself

Reading
Restoring antiques/carpentry
Kicking leaves
Going to a concert
Shopping
Walking on the beach
Doing craft work
Travelling
Crying
Laughing
Going to the theatre
Asking for a cuddle
Going on a trip to a fun fair
Writing to friends or writing poems
Walking the dog
Being in the country
Playing a musical instrument
Giving a party
Playing a sport
Painting, drawing
Swimming
Having a facial, make-up etc.
Dancing
Going to a restaurant
Wearing something that feels good
Taking regular moderate exercise
Having takeaway food, so you don't need to cook
Being with children
Taking a course for pleasure
Pursuing hobbies
Being with animals
Rearranging your room
Walking barefoot
Making presents for friends
Redecorating your house
Skinny dipping
Singing
Gardening
Going to the library
Taking a long bath
Sitting in the sun
Watching TV or a good movie
Baking/cooking a supply of food
Just sitting and thinking outside
Taking a holiday
Being with friends
Going to the zoo
Staying at home
Having a rest during the day
Going to a park or gardens
Getting enough sleep
Doing your hair
Having a glass of good wine
Being around positive people
Playing some music
Listening to the radio
Having a massage
Learning a language
Inviting friends over
Doing a yoga or tai chi class
Watching people
Giving gifts
Meditating
Window shopping
Tidying your wardrobe
Nurturing your spirit
Looking through magazines
Cleaning your shoes
Emailing a friend
Going for a drive
Buying food you like
Buying a poster or picture you like
Doing a course
Going to the museum or art gallery
Planning something good for the future
Solving a crossword, puzzle etc.
Having a shower
Going to bed early
Completing a task
Ringing a friend
Going camping, bush walking
Playing cards
Going to the movies
Sleeping in late.

What a great list!

http://www.asca.org.au/survivors/survivors_simplesuggestions.html