Sacred Journey

Your Life is a Sacred Journey

And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement,transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous risks, embracing challenges at every step of the way…

You are on the path

Exactly where you are meant to be right now…And from here, you can only go forwards, shaping your life storyinto a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage,beauty, wisdom, power, dignity, & love….

- Caroline Joy Adams

The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.
--Ernest Hemingway

Weak as I am, I am too much for him

I often can't find the words I want to say, so I'm grateful for those that make their words available. These are good ones


Lost in time I can’t count the words
I said when I thought they went unheard
All of those harsh thoughts so unkind
’cos I wanted you

And now I sit here I’m all alone
So here sits a bloody mess, tears fly home
A circle of angels, deep in war
’cos I wanted you

Weak as I am, no tears for you
Weak as I am, no tears for you
Deep as I am, I’m no ones fool
Weak as I am

So what am I now I’m love last home
I’m all of the soft words I once owned
If I opened my he heart, there’d be no space for air
’cos I wanted you

Weak as I am, no tears for you
Weak as I am, no tears for you
Deep as I am, I’m no ones fool
Weak as I am

In this tainted soul
In this weak young heart
Am I too much for you

In this tainted soul
In this weak young heart
Am I too much for you

In this tainted soul
In this weak young heart
Am I too much for you

Weak as I am
Weak as I am
Weak as I am
Weak as I am, am, am

Weak as I am
Am I to much for you
Weak as I am
Am I to much for you
Weak as I am
Am I to much for you
Weak as I am
Am I to much for you
Weak as I am

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/skunk-anansie/126038.html

Tears

"Why would I cry over a boy? I would never waste my tears on a boy. Why waste your tears on someone who makes you cry?"

Kirsten Dunst quote

"A teardrop on earth summons the King of heaven"

Charles R. Swindoll quote

Leave (Get Out)

JOJO LYRICS
Leave (Get Out)

I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know that when it's late at night
I Hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)
Could make me feel this way
(Now that you're here boy all I want)
Is just a chance to say

[Chorus]Get Out, (leave) right now,
It's the end of you and meIt's too late (now)
and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me righ
t but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way

[Chorus]I wanted you right here with me
but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breakin'
With every word I'm sayin'I gave up everything
I had On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these
Eyeee-eeee-eeees
Ooooh, ooooh

Get out[Chorus x2]Get out (leave)
You and meIt's too late (too late)
You ohh Bout her (who, why)
You said that you would treat me right (noooo)
but it was just a waste of time (waste of time)
Ohhhh oh oh oh hoh oh

Heartbreak Hotel

Heartbreak Hotel

by: c. schack, k. karlin, t. savage

This is the heartbreak hotel (9x)
You said that you’d be here by nine
And said you took your time
You didn’t think to call me boy
Here I sit trying not to cry
Asking myself why you do this to me

Chorus 1
Since you’re not around for me to tell you baby face to face
I’m writing you this letter, and this is whatI have to say:

All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies
When someone else was on your mind
What you do to me
Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you play with my emotions and you made me cry
What you do to me
Can’t take what you did to me
Now I see that you been doing wrong
You played me all along.
And made a fool of me, baby
You got it all wrong to think that I wouldn’t find out
That you were cheating on me.
How could you do it to me?

Chorus 2
This is the heartbreak hotel
Chorus and I ain’t goin to take it no more

everthing you said was a lie
Don’t lie to me

The "man" we had in common

I was awakened by a phone call.
The call was from a woman I did not know.
But we had something in common.
Her boyfriend.
The man I'd been seeing.
One in the same.

All these posts I've written lately that are so filled with pain?
Written for him.
His behavior has been shady.
I suspected something was up.
I trusted him though.
I believe in people way too much.
I expect good things from them.
I have faith in them.

But my good faith has broken my heart.
I was a toy to him.
Something to pick up when his friends had gone home
and he was alone.
The hours I spent waiting on him...
Hoping he'd come play with me.

He's a fool for letting this amazing woman go.
I'm a bigger fool for putting up with the charade.
For months he's played me.
And I let him do it.

I have learned what amazing friends I have today
They have asked to take me out
They have asked me if I needed to talk
They said they didnt' care if I cried.
They have reminded me to be kind to myself
as I am kind to others.
I am so blessed with wonderful friends.
I could not do this without them.

I pray that I will be brave and strong.
That I will realize what a worm Paul Metzger is.
That I will realize that the glimpse I saw of his heart
that I fell in love with
Was only a mirage
It was something I wanted to see, that didn't exist after all.
He has no heart
To do this to a woman
to TWO women

God, make me brave and strong
Make me see past the games
And see people for who they really are
Help me to guard my heart
And not give it away until it is time
Bring me the man that you'd have for me
One that is gentle and kind
That will treat me as the prize that I am;
That you've made me to be
Enable me to guard with a vengence what is precious
And not allow these theives to remove it again
I am so tired of being stolen from.
They are not worth it
The prize is being trampled on.

Help me to forgive.
I hate him today.
Like I've never hated anyone

Please take the hurt away.
I hate the hurt
I don't want to hurt anymore

TLS

I wish I'd written this

FOR JPM....(who else)...

Insensitive

(Jann Arden)

How do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere?

Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home,
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual good-byes.
By the chill in your embrace and the expression on your face,
That told me you might have some advice to give ...
On how to be...
Insensitive.

How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood after the body rush?
How do you free your soul after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?

Oh you probably won't remember me, it's probably ancient history,
I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you.
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch, I fell too fast, I feel too much.
I thought that you might have some advice to give ...
On how to be ...
Insensitive.

Sandra & me in Jan. 1986

Sandra & me in summer of 2003

Happy Birthday to my "oldest friend"

Happy Birthday, sweet Sandra

My friend of 23 years!
More than half of our lives
we have been friends
Knowing all
Sharing all
laughter and tears
Tension and release

I am thankful for:
Family
Sleepovers
Junior High (YUCK)
Peter Bailey
Moose
Her
Did you get your ___ ?
Do you curse?
Pizza for breakfast on Saturday mornings
You going with me to buy makeup for the first time
Church youth group
Songs that remind me of you
your birthday party at the skating rink
train rides to Atlanta
Boyfriends
Crushes
Long talks
Laughs
Our own special language :)
You forgiving me for turning my back on you for a stupid boy
Weddings
Your sweet husband & sweet boys
you listening to all my drama and talks of silly boys
Unconditional friendship, love and support
You believing in me
You "getting me" like no one else
Not judging me
God's working in our lives
Our get away to Montgomery
You helping me so much when I get married
You helpiung me so much when I got divorced :)
Your support
Two hour phone conversations
That our friendship has sustained long distance for 22 years
Being such a great example to me of a great marriage; a great wife and mom
Years of junk food :)

So much more
I could write for hours! Days even!
I love you and am so grateful for YOU....I cannot imagine life without you
And am so grateful for our friendship
and that you will always be there
Know that I will always be here.

Happy Birthday, sweet friend
There is no one like you

Beginnings

"Beginnings"
by Roberta Wesley

"Behold, all things have become new."
2 Corinthians 5:17

waiting

waiting
for this to be more than something about me
waiting for him to draw me
to himself
to reveal
to be more than I could expect
or imagine

no longer about me
me
trying to please
me
trying to perform
me
abiding by a set a rules

waiting
waiting
waiting
not watching the clock
trusting timing other than my own
ignoring the stares of others
ignoring their impatience
for they are uncomfortable with my waiting
assuming it is complacence

not apathy
but trust
wanting it to be solely about the drawing
of him
to himself

seeing a glimpse
in an unexpected way
the desire starting to grow
wanting more
longing more
resting
trusting
unexplainable

him

TLS

Echoes in Silence

"Echoes in Silence"
by Roberta Wesley

For I will restore health to you And heal you of your wounds,' says the Lord... Jeremiah 30:17

Hide and Seek - without the seek

The game

they say that's what it takes

hide and seek -
I run, he follows
chasing after what he wants

its human nature, right?
to hunt and struggle for what you want
IF you want it with a passion

logic says
no chasing
equals
no wanting

i ran
looking eagerly backwards
you were not there

lies lies
all lies

i cannot believe your words
i must trust what I see

what I see
is emptiness
you are not there

you are in my heart
but hopefully not for long

you do not deserve such a space

TLS

Since you been gone

Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
Dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say


But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone


How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way


But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone


You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again


Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want


Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone

Martin Sandberg/Lukasz Gottwald

The line

I struggle
I struggle
I struggle
I struggle
I struggle
I struggle

Striving to find the perfect font for this post, I decide to keep my struggles above, seeming rather fitting.

I walk a fine line
shaking, striving, wanting, being, aching, panicking
the line I walk is small
barely holding me
but it does support
it is keeping me alive

to one side of me is the vastness that is hope
the vastness that is faith
truth,love, passion, desire, rest and peace

the other side
welcomes the cynic
it calls
it beckons
it cries out
it is safe
it is protected

but it is alone
it knows no love
it questions
it doubts

i teeter on the fine line
craving one, but absolutely terrified
to trust, to believe, to let go, to love
the release
of belonging
of rest
BUT
the fear
of it lasting
the fear
that comes with trusting

i inch toward the cynic
protected
cowering
aching
but safe all the more

there is one that supports the line
keeping me alive
keeping me breathing
making sure I am safe
that I do not fall

but this one will not choose
that belongs to me

oh maker of all that breathes
and all that lives
grant me strength
to make my choice
boldly
bravely

no longer
to teeter again

TLS

Mothers Day

I'm thinking of motherhood today. I am not a mother. I ache to be, but am not at this point. There are mothers that are important to me, though. Obviously, my own, who has given sacrifically for almost 35 years now. I was blessed to be able to spend the day with her today. I know there are many that don't have their mothers anymore.

The mother that I am thinking about most today is my sister in law. Today is her very first mother's day. My brother and she adopted my sweet niece about six weeks ago. I am an aunt for the very first time. I had no idea it would be possible to love someone so much that you hardly know! I've only seen her about 4 times - I ache to see this sweet baby again.

I had two nieces through my marriage. Since I am now divorced, they are no longer mine. I was so proud to become an aunt of a baby that is MINE. I won't ever have to give her back :)

My brother and sister in law have wanted a child for some time now and now have their sweet baby . God is good. They have desired, and God granted. Maybe the same will hold true for me? If I desire so deeply, will God grant?

Until I have mine, growing inside of me, my very own to shower with love, to nurture, to encourage, to admonish, I will love on those around me. I will seemy sweet niece as much as I can and love her as only Aunt Traci can do :)

He's Just Not That Into Me - A Painful Truth

Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. "He's afraid to get hurt again." "Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship." "Maybe he's intimidated by me." "He just got out of a relationship." Despite good intentions, you are wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. The truth may be he's jut not that into you.

Greg Behrendt/Liz Tuccillo

A painful truth, but I am afraid it is mine. I was stood up tonight. AGAIN (uh yeah, by the same man). And yes, I know what they say. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me SIX times??? Then I'm a DAMN FOOL. I trusted his heart. I believed in his goodness. He seemed to be this romantic, chivalrous man; just going through a rough time. Gullible, foolish, naive am I.... Believing in the good in people...

In the past three years, I have been out with almost THIRTY men. It's been fun, it's been good for my self-esteem, it's been better than staying home alone, it's been educational. But I am frickin FED UP.... Do I expect too much?? Do I hope for too much???

I want a man who is gentle and kind; a man who knows that there is life after this one and that there is a God who sustains us and loves us; a man who is communicative and unselfish; a man with a beautiful soul who can express the emotions that he has (and yes, I DO believe that all men have them - Most are just not brave enough to express them); one who works hard, but knows that work is simply to provide the funds to live a full life; one who knows how to laugh and knows how to love; one who has values and morals and expects the same of me; one who is passionate and sensual and can express these things in a healthy manner; one who adores children and sees the hope that they bring; one who lives life to it's fullest. I want a man with a beautiful soul who can see the soul that is inside of me and appreciate it for what it is. A man who will treat a woman like a princess... Tell me folks, am I asking for too much??? Is this a possibility?? Does this type of man exist?

I am tired of shallow men whose word means nothing to them. Men who do not cherish women. Men who will not chase after me... I KNOW that I am chase-worthy. I KNOW that there is a man on this planet who will gaze into my eyes and wonder how he got so lucky to find me. And this will NOT be a man who stands me up, who doesn't have the time to call and does not make me a priority. I am worth more. I deserve more. And I will get more. I will not settle for men who make excuses anymore. I am valuable and I expect to be treated with value. I demand it. I will not tolerate less.

My first audio poast