A few challenges

I feel really good today and it sure feels good to feel good! My recovery has been a lot slower than I'd hoped and with several setbacks.

My latest setback was on Thursday when I went to have my drain removed. (By the way, it was a pretty painless process. The nurse told me that most patients tell her that it just feels weird, and that was exactly right. It was so bizarre...I guess I didn't realize how long it was inside my belly...And feeling it being pulled, from the inside, was very strange.. But needless to say, I was just glad it was gone. The drain was a humbling experience thinking of people that have to deal with foreign things to their bodies all the time...I felt guilt in complaining about it...) Thursday was my first day to drive, so I ran a few errands, came home, and was exhausted, and took a nap. I woke up from my nap with fever! I was pretty terrified... I did end up calling my surgeon that night and he was so gracious. He was not worried about it, nor was my RN hubby...I presume I should have trusted hubby...I was overly paranoid I guess.. But a fever after surgery is just a scary thing.. My drain site was pretty irritated, so I presume the fever was just from that. I had it for about a day and a half or so, then I was fine...

Support group was yesterday and I was really hesitant to go. I'd not been feeling well and had been a little down and tired, and just hated to show that side of it all to the newbies.. Then I realized that it's about all that too...Those researching need to see all sides of it.. The discouragement and the fear and the worry is a part of it alongside the weight loss and increase in activity and happiness. It's a package deal, and in all honest, I'm a tell-it-like-it-is, whole-package kind-of girl... so I'm proud that I went. Thank you, Sandra, for encouraging me to go!! I did end up getting blessed by it, and I seem to always meet someone new with a new story...

There has been so much excitement in my recent posts.. This journey is not going to be all excitement. There are going to be lots and lots of trials...They have already begun.. I'm already overwhelmed about all I have to try to fit in my little tummy.. There are not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do...And I'm not even working yet!! I have a tendency to get way overwhelmed...so this has been a problem...

I'm getting out more, which is good, but also a challenge. I am bombarded with the things I used to love. I have loved eating out since I was a child. It always brought some kind of comfort to me...not really sure why..But getting out of the house and seeing billboards and restaurants and fast food restaurants is a challenge. My tummy doesn't want the stuff, isn't even hungry at all, and couldn't even handle it.. But my head sure wants it... I have many, many years of bad habits, addictions even, and none of that disappears with this miraculous surgery. The battlefield is in the mind...

I have struggled for a long time with the mind over matter mindset...but is something that I really want to take hold of... Maybe this will be a turning point for me. Hubby and I went on a date last night and I went to a restaurant for the first time. I thought, you know, I can moan and groan about what I can't have, or I can just accept it...I've made this positive choice for myself and it is the way it is... I think it's going to take a lot more of that kind of thinking... Of course, eventually I'll have many, many things to replace what I'm letting go of...But at this stage in the game, it's new and fresh, and although I've lost some weight, the major advantages aren't here yet. But they will come. And it will be grand. In the mean time, I will battle and fight against the old me and look forward to all that is before me...

Thank each and every one of my loved ones who are keeping up with me and supporting me!! I don't know how I'd do it without you all...