Best day yet...and remembering the why

The days keep getting better. I have more strength and energy today and the pain is not as bad. Honestly, I think the narcotics were keeping me down, just overall not in good shape. I feel stronger today and actually felt like talking to some friends on the phone.

I am feeling this yucky tightness in my stomach that I'm trying to figure out. As SOH says, the next year of my life is going to be a science experiment; figuring out what works and what doesn't, what my body likes and what it doesn't.

I had my first "uh oh" moment today. I cannot swallow whole pills for several months because of the tiny hole from my esophagus to my little baby stomach. I've begin using Tylenol instead of the big mama drugs, and had crushed the Tylenol and put it in another medication I'm taking that is in liquid form. I swallowed that fine and then put some water in the 1-oz cup to make sure I'd gotten all the medication. Without even thinking, I swallowed the whole ounce of water in one gulp. Baby tummy did not like that!! I could tell right away it wasn't a good thing. It was just a sharp pain that subsided quickly..but we learn from those experiences...

I watched Anne of Green Gables with mom today and just loved it. Sweet moments with my sweet mom! I will be sad when she leaves and will have to be a big girl and take care of myself now (and hubby too..how nice to have mom cooking for SAM!!)...The good thing is that day after tomorrow I'll be even stronger and more prepared to do what I need to do.

I have the dogs boarded for a good while and that has been such a blessing. Lulu would be a breeze, but the sweet baby boy puppy boy would have been a handful. I just don't know how I could take care of him right now! Thank goodness I have a wonderful lady who keeps them for me for such a reasonable cost. So that's been a load off of my back.

SOH said something today that just made me tear up...It's easy in this phase to get caught up in all the hard parts of this process. Obviously I'm not to any other stage yet... But many have said they would do this surgery again and again if they had to.. (which spoke volumes to me while I was in the hospital.. It's one thing to hear that and another thing to experience it).. Don't get me wrong, I'm having no regrets and am so excited of the life before me... It just has its hard moments, and when you don't have the good stuff yet to compare it, you just have to keep a level head. Anyway, SOH said, "Trust the YOU that made this decision to do this." I just loved that and it was just what I needed to hear. I made an excellent decision for my life, for my health, for my future, for so many things that still await me!!

I'm so excited to be able to share my journey with everyone. I am more open than many, and sometimes I wonder if I'm too open for me :)... Why the heck would anyone care about my stories anyway? Sometimes I have a nagging voice saying that to me.. "who do you think you are? what makes you so special that others would want to read or know?"...But then my spirit speaks and I realize that my truth is my truth. It doesn't belong to anyone else. No one can tell it like me. And although we are all at different stages in our journeys, there are people not yet to where am...And if they can learn and grow from me, then I am grateful for it.

I write with a humble heart and know there is nothing good in me on my own. I know that every good and perfect gift comes from God. So I thank him for these wonderful second chances, for loved ones, for words, for the freedom of expression, and for those who are willing to learn and grow. May we all be molded and shaped daily!