An Adult Child Living with Adult Parents

I have been so grateful for my sweet parents. They took me in over three years ago after my divorce and I remain under their roof! We have developed closer relationships and I do really enjoy their companionship. They have also been so gracious to take my love in their home these past few weeks and have treated him like family. My parents are wonderful, precious people. I adore them and thank God for them.

I have had a few struggles while living at home with being an adult and living with my adult parents. I know that many adults living at home would struggle with the same - and the parents struggle, too. There are conflicts of interest, conflicts of opinions, etc. My parents raised me with strong values and morals (a conservative Southern Baptist home). They did a wonderful job of raising my siblings and myself. I have, however, over the past couple of years developed a sense of individuality; straying somewhat. Not rebelling, not turning away; but defining who I am and what I believe - apart from mom and dad, apart from the church, etc. The past few years have been invaluable. I have a strong identity and a strong sense of self. I have a confidence in who I am and what I believe that I never had before. The past few years have been priceless.

My parents have had difficulty, however, particularly my mother, with seeing me live differently than they; differently from the way they raised me (these are very tiny differences, mind you). Now, I've never been a parent. But I imagine it would be tremendously difficult to see your children live differently than how you'd hope they would; to "let them go" in a sense. My bet is that the majority of parents struggle with this.

I had to have a semi-confrontation recently. I had to take a stand and set a boundary and it was somewhat difficult. I think my mother had an even harder time with it. I had to say, "I've got to be who I think I need to be". It's been so easy for me over the past couple of years to simply hide the differences - to try to camouflage as much as possible; so as to not rock the boat, or not hurt my precious parents. I came to realize, however, that this was not helping them, or me. I cannot hide from the world. There's no need for me to flaunt that I am different, but there's no shame in it either. I am who I am, as Popeye says. If I am confident and self-assure, then there is no need to hide in the decisions that I make.

This has been a growing period. I have learned much. I pray that I will always be gracious and honorable, yet true to myself. I pray that I will continue to do soul searching; to not cower in my decisions. I pray that I will be brave. I pray that I will be an example to others about developing a sense of identity. To truly examine what you know and what you believe and decide if it is YOURS. To not simply blend in because it's what you know, or because it's comfortable.