The Sham I Am...Part II

I initially wrote The Sham I Am after my x-husband passed away..I wrote about how I often hid in my writings, when I usually write and proclaim my truth, because I didn't want things to get back to him. I now find myself doing the same thing.

I know that I am not obligated to share the personal details of my life in this manner. I know that some probably think I'm crazy for proclaiming ANY of my truths...However, it's important to me to be honest; to share with those around me what I'm going through. If my struggles don't encourage others, then what are they for?

Many of you know that my husband and I have been having trouble. I have hid in shame regarding this because this is my second marriage. How humiliating it is for me to have a second marriage failing...But if I am not honest about it, then it is all in vain...

I have particularly been hiding from people that were a part of my life with my first husband. I feel particularly shameful in regards to them. I don't know why...I just feel as if they may be laughing at me.. And maybe I'm too narcissistic to even think that they care. But I do want to say this. I honestly wish that I could call my ex-husband and say, "I know that it wasn't all your fault, and I'm sorry." The problem is that he is no longer on the planet. So I guess I feel that saying things in this manner is a way to get it out. I am sorry. I take responsibility for the errors that were mine.

So, there's my truth folks, and I'm sticking to it. Truth is truth...no matter how pretty or ugly...